Each Day Gets Better

Took some piccy pics...Home Is Somewhere Far Away. Coming soon. I was ready to take pictures of Again, but I am taking it apart to fine tune some details before calling it done. I think poems are starting to rattle around in my head again, I think it may be time to jump back in.

Recently, I've been getting strong urges to make music. I'm trying very hard to not follow this urge-I have tried several times in the past and it is one of the things which I have always found more frustrating than worthwhile. I am a very average singer, I can't read music, I have no experience with music theory, there is an immense learning curve with music production programs, not to mention the buy in cost. Unless I have absolutely nothing else going on with my life, I need to keep away. Though, I cannot deny...the temptation to make ambient music is very strong. God, so tempting. I need to stay disciplined. It would be fun to make candles. I have also thought about making short films. It's just a combination of things I already do, but I think this is another idea I need to let simmer for quite a while.

Normally, the 'new interest' urges are so overwhelming, I immediately give into them. The fact that I am able to only think about wanting to do them just means I am in a period of finishing projects and trying to clean house. I must finish purging, using, cleaning, end chapters, and rest. Then, I can welcome something new and throw myself into it wholeheartedly.

I have hoarded crafting and art supplies which I need to use up, especially in the yarn department. I have a TON of citrus slices I dehydrated in November which I finally feel inspired to use up. I made a necklace for my friend's graduation gift. I feel sad thinking of them leaving after the summer. I expect to visit Mass quite often this next year. I think of how horrible my college experience was and I worry for them, but I can already see how much stronger and more capable they are. My worries are just worries. They'll face hurdles, they'll adjust, and they'll come out more successful than any of the other suckers there.

A coworker who feels like an older brother reached out to me about collaborating on a writing project. I feel a bit nervous-he is leagues more experienced than I and we both specialize in different genres (although we have experience in a wide variety). Of course-I am very excited. I would love the oppurtunity! Hopefully I can learn a lot from him and give him something of value.

I've been trying to get out and do stuff. I spend so long being excited for things and imagining all I want to do and then...nothing. I am too tired, I get distracted, I get too focused on work, I lose all the time I once had. I want to go to the beach this summer, I want to get ice cream, I want to go ziplining, I want to go to islands and collect seaglass and shells. I REALLY want to see a shark breach this summer-it's my ultimate goal. I love sharks so much, I would love to see one in person.

In the spring, I kind of failed majorly, I didn't even scratch the surface of my flower related goals and now they have passed for the season. NO MORE! MY LIFE WILL END ONE DAY!! How many more springs will I see before I die? I need to get out of my head!

I've been trying to hang out with people (it has been fun). I went to an island yesterday (Peak's) and I had a really great time. I collected so many beautiful shells and I can't wait to clean them and use them up. I am trying to dry some lilac with the upside-down hanging method. How long is this supposed to take? And how do I know when they're done? I'll figure it out. I've been growing lavender, its been slow but steady. I might be able to harvest some soon? The strawberries will be ready soon and the blackberries not long after. Between this, work, friendships, and my art/writing pursuits, plus trying to grow and take care of myself, I have been busy and will stay busy. I need to clean, I'm behind on everything, but the rest of today will be spent working on the yard.

I am exhausted, I have been exhausted. It doesn't feel great, but it still feels very good. I think of how winter will feel, the coldness, the dark, the emptiness, the days trapped at home. I'm thankful I get to be so busy. Rest will come soon enough. The winter is when I get most of my writing done, anyways. Warm times are better for physical work. I should do something special for the solstice. I love summer! Then again-I guess I love every season. There's something so special, magical about each one. Yes, even winter.

H. Salt